Blog Archives

While flipping though The Peak, an interview with Jeffrey Seah, South-east Asia CEO of global brand communications group Starcom Mediavest caught my eye.

“My hope is that every Singaporean will be a jack of all trades and a master of 10. It is not easy to be an all-rounder, as everyone wants to excel in one particular field. Having this awareness and a positive reaction to such stimuli will be the true application of Darwinism. The marketing and communications industry in Singapore will benefit with such mindsets.”

What an interesting positive spin on an adage that could be perceived as a limiting statement and belief!

When someone has a multitude of interests and skills sets, they are often encouraged to focus so that they can master one or two of them. But there are some of us who simply enjoy learning new skills and acquiring new portfolios and hats.

Take for example, my publisher Kok Hwa from Candid Creation Publishing. 4 years after our first meeting, he is now an Action Learning Coach as well as a trainer with his own workshop ‘So You Want to Be an Author?’. The expansion and continuous mastery of new trades have opened up new opportunities and an exciting new world for him.

Singapore’s ‘Mother Teresa’, the late Teresa Hsu who passed on in 2011 aged 113 is another example. At aged 47, she enrolled and was accepted into a three- year nursing course in London meant for students under 25. At 67, she founded one of the first home for the aged sick in Singapore in the 1960s where she worked until she was 85 years old. She picked up yoga at the age of 69 and started teaching it to the young and old at temples, associations, hospitals and schools. Truly inspiring!

And there are many other examples.

The key operative word here is mastery. It is not simply a shallow interest or shallow application but a deep desire to delve as deep as possible, and apply the new skills to its best possible use whether for one’s personal development or the betterment of the world around us. An on-going attitude of curious and open learning not limited by age nor the naysayers surrounding us.

It makes life all the richer for ourselves, and those around us.

If we celebrate the years behind us they become stepping-stones of strength and joy for the years ahead.

It is two days before the dawn of 2015. A perfect time for reflection in preparation for a brand new year.

Here are three suggestions for reflective activities:

What Would You Like 2015 to be Like?

For the past few years, I have set a new year resolution for example, my resolution for 2014 is to be anchored in bliss, feel bliss, gift bliss and be bliss. While people often cite that resolutions do not work, and studies show that most people fail, I believe that resolutions can work for you if you decide to be guided by it as much as possible. I did not feel pressured nor restricted by it so it became easier to follow.

I used to set specific goals but since 2011, I started to set intentions instead which works very well for me. The intentions provide a ‘roadmap’ for what you want to do, to be and to have. For those of you who work better with setting specific goals, please do so. Utilise the system which works best for you. 🙂

Tip 1: when you are setting your resolution and intentions, please feel happy and joyous doing it so that you are amplifying happy energies!

Tip 2: State what you want and not what you do not want.

What Makes You Happy?

For those of you who are in a stormy period of your life, perhaps this reflective exercise of knowing what makes you happy would be useful.

If you do not know what would make you happy then most likely, you will find yourself caught in an endless web of unhappiness. If you do not know what would make you happy, then it is challenging or near impossible for anyone else in your life to help give a little nudge.

If you are feeling unhappy right now, take some time off for yourself. Have a cup of tea or coffee, relax and then start thinking about what would make you happy. If your mind starts to go “but I can’t achieve that”, “how can I get that” etc, STOP and bring your attention back to what would make you happy.

During the session, if your mind is a blank when it comes to what would make you happy, then that’s an important realisation and insight for you isn’t it? If that happens, then recognise your new insight and start to focus on the future.

For those who are experiencing severe pain and this is an impossible exercise to do…be brave to seek and accept help. Confide in a friend or make an appointment to speak with a counsellor, coach or therapist. Everyone deserves to live a life of joy and dignity.

Creating Your Dream Boards

In 2007,my dear friend M encouraged me to put up my vision (dream) boards – not just the typical one that most people do but three separate boards for me to paste pictures of the things I’d like to be doing, having and being.

The boards forced me to reflect on what I truly wanted in life at that given point in time (you have to think before you put stuff up!), allowed me to dream bigger and gave me that extra dosage of sunshine when I felt down.

Bit by bit, month by month, year by year… what I like to be doing, having and being became a manifested reality. Some quicker, while some took a wee longer. The boards helped me to creatively energetically Visual-Realise my dreams while embarking on the many learning journeys helped to accelerate the transformation of my life.

Instead of 3 boards, you could combine them into one. Besides pictures, you can also include written words or phrases. You can review and change your board(s) along the way.

Last week, during a coaching session for a client, this reflection question popped up for her: What does it mean for you to have a thankful heart?

She is going through probably the fiercest hardest storm to-date. She’s been bruised and battered by the hard winds and shivered for countless nights. But through it all, she’s found refuge and sanctuary and, an inner strength and resilience. Above all, she has been able (with great determination and discipline) to maintain a strong sense of calm. Releasing of hatred and anger is the goal she is working towards.

It is not easy being my client because at the onset of our journey together, I tell them that my role is not to sugar coat nor am I in a popularity contest. My role is to be a catalyst in the transformational journey and that means facing hard truths at times. It also means accepting and taking action on recommendations even if it is something that throws them out of their comfort zone. Or something that is painful for them to do. For those with perseverance and willingness to do what it takes, there is always positive changes.

In my client’s case, she was what the world would perceive as the ‘victim’ in the situation. So the question I posed to her was not an easy one. But she graciously and openly accepted the reflective task for this period of Christmas in preparation for a new fresh start in 2015.

It is also a question that I have taken on for my own self-reflection and preparation for a brand new year. And it is a question that I think would benefit many.

In his book Hardwiring Happiness, neuropsychologist Dr Rick Hanson shared about the importance of regularly taking in the good to create neural pathways we need for well being. Unless we pay mindful, sustained attention to them, most positive experiences flow through our brains like water through a sieve. The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.

If that it the case, then having a thankful heart would also allow us to create positive neural pathways as well as a healthy heart.

What does it mean for you to have a thankful heart?

I am still reflecting on the question and it has been liberating to explore some of the pathways that my heart takes me to. To savour each new insight and thought. Much to think about and lots of experiences to reframe. All which is useful and beneficial for moving ahead.

Did you know? The American Institute for Stress estimates that up to 90 percent of visits to the doctor are for stress-related problems.

Stress is a growing health problem for many working professionals today, and without strategies to keep it in check, stress can in turn cause chronic illnesses and unnecessary downtime and unproductivity for employees.

Progressive companies today are focusing on preventive care services to improve productivity by managing employees’ emotional, mental and physical well-being.

Recently conducted a stress management workshop for dnata Singapore as part of their Global world Safety Day. The management wanted a wellness workshop to benefit their employees.

Clearly stress management is a popular topic as the talk attracted a large turnout. Participants shared that the talk was fun, enjoyable and very informative.

Having the tools to manage stress is essential for our well-being. That’s why I absolutely enjoy conducting this workshop for companies as it is a way to enable people to enjoy optimal well-being. It is also a way for companies to care for their employees’ well-being.

 Was invited by  the Business Women’s Network of SAP Singapore as their guest speaker.

The topic “Break Out of Your Comfort Zone” is one that is very close to my heart.

As I laughingly shared with the participants, it seem that I  have had to constantly and consistently practice this throughout my life. And judging from the large turnout (the organisers shared with me later on that it was the best ever turnout), it is a topic that resonates with many.

Even though the session was just for an hour, I wanted it to be packed with strategies and tips that participants could use straight away. And of course, it has to be interactive and fun as well!

And during the session, when I shared the story about my mum and how proud I am of her for breaking out of her comfort zone, one of the participants excitedly shared that she knows who my mum is! So it was a nice story to pass on to my mum after the event.

As a lovely bonus, I met a friend whom I have not seen since our graduation.

I had so much fun at the event and it once again affirms the importance of breaking out of one’s comfort zone. If I did not take the first step (years ago) to do my very first speaking engagement, I would not have realised that I truly enjoy it. By moving into a new comfort zone, I allowed the unfolding of goodness. And if we focus on this unfolding of goodness, it gives us the added courage and boost to conquer the fears of moving beyond our limitations and often, self imposed boundaries.

Life is what you make it out to be.
Life is what you create it to be.
Life is looking out for and seizing the opportunities that come your way.
Life is persevering when it gets tough or challenging.
Life is going with and enjoying flow.

After her retrenchment 11 years ago, my mum devoted her time to her family and volunteer work. Yet there are so many hours in a day that I often felt that it must be “boring’ for her. Then two years ago, she signed up for training course at the Employment & Employability Institute (e2i) and soon found herself working for Universal Studios Singapore as an attraction host at the Return of the Mummy ride. It was not an easy journey returning to the workforce and I often tell her to work only if she enjoys it. She persevered.

On Sunday, I was chilling out with her at my grandma’s place and I started to read the Sunday Times. When I came to the Lifestyle page 6, I had a surprise. My mum is in it!

She had been interviewed as one of three persons who have carved out a second career late in life. The interview took place several weeks ago but she kept quiet about it to surprise us. I am so proud of her that I msged my dear friends to share about it.

She persevered in her training and give her best in her job. She may be the oldest in her team yet her energy level and enthusiasm is contagious.

A close friend shared with me that she is inspired by my mum’s example. I am too! And you bet, she will be a role model that I will cite to encourage my older clients that life can still be meaningful and enjoyable regardless of the age.