Dream Catalyst

Blog Archives

Release Envy and Change Your Life

Called to Love, 13 September 2013Its your road, and yours alone.
others may walk it with you,
but no one can walk it for you. ~ Rumi

Years ago, I used to envy the lives of others. Lives that I perceive as being happier than mine. The thing about envy is that it rarely spurs you to respond or react positively. Instead, it salts the wounds and the bleeding of bitterness starts once more.
Envy also prevents us from being 100% happy for someone’s good news. Instead, the question “why can’t it happen to me?” pops in to over heat the self-pity soup, leaving us burnt.Then wise mentors appeared to remind and teach me to embrace and celebrate my own life. To embrace the sufferings, the pains, the anguish that appears on my own road. Just like I would embrace and enjoy the goodness, the joys, the learnings that is mine.  And to practice being 100% happy for others’ goodness and joys.

I found the following steps useful:
  • Practice gratitude for all blessings both big and small
  • Practice deep breathing and allow the emotion of envy to surface and dissipate into the air when it pops up
  • Practice being happy for others and be present to their joy
  • Practice laughing more and crying less
  • Practice patience as life begins to attract goodness into your life

Release envy and positively change your life.

This is a teaching worth absorbing.
This is a practice worth living.
This is a path onto total bliss.

Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life

BeliefsWhat do you believe in?

Does it propel you forward or keep you trapped in the past? Does it gift you joy or lock you in pain? Does it let you take desired action or paralyse you with fears?

Understanding about beliefs, how they affected me and changing my limiting beliefs was one of the key transformative tool for me. That was about 8 or 9 years ago? And to-date, it remains an important tool for inner awareness and change.

Your beliefs are like the operating system to your brain. They are one of the primary filters that determine what you delete and what you pay attention to. They determine how you perceive and interpret your experiences.
Beliefs act as self fulfilling prophecies. They act as permissions as well as blocks to what we can do. They have to be acted on if they are to mean anything; therefore beliefs are principles of action, not empty ideals.

Non useful beliefs are called limiting beliefs eg “I am stupid”, “I am a failure”, “I’m lousy at Maths”, “Life is painful/ difficult”, “I’ll always be a failure”, “I suck at relationships”.

Beliefs are never absolutely true. For every belief, there is always a counter belief.

A client of mine held a limiting belief that he does not make a good partner after his ex-wife decided to leave him. As he went on a healing journey of awareness, change and action, he formed new powerful beliefs for a new phase of life. Today, he is happily remarried with a beautiful daughter.
Another client of mine could not see herself progressing in her career and felt that she could only be a sales executive. After a change of mindset and beliefs held, she is now a GM. A position she would never have dared to dream about when she held onto her limiting beliefs. The change happen within a short span of a few years. A big transformative (and I would happy!) leap for her.
Awareness of the beliefs you consciously or subconsciously hold is a great start to understanding yourself better. And a key to making any changes desired.
There are many literature available on change work involving beliefs. Or you might find it useful to engage a coach or therapist to journey with you.


3 Reflective Activities to Usher in 2015

Hello 2015If we celebrate the years behind us they become stepping-stones of strength and joy for the years ahead.

It is two days before the dawn of 2015. A perfect time for reflection in preparation for a brand new year.

Here are three suggestions for reflective activities:

What Would You Like 2015 to be Like?

For the past few years, I have set a new year resolution for example, my resolution for 2014 is to be anchored in bliss, feel bliss, gift bliss and be bliss. While people often cite that resolutions do not work, and studies show that most people fail, I believe that resolutions can work for you if you decide to be guided by it as much as possible. I did not feel pressured nor restricted by it so it became easier to follow.

I used to set specific goals but since 2011, I started to set intentions instead which works very well for me. The intentions provide a ‘roadmap’ for what you want to do, to be and to have. For those of you who work better with setting specific goals, please do so. Utilise the system which works best for you. 🙂

Tip 1: when you are setting your resolution and intentions, please feel happy and joyous doing it so that you are amplifying happy energies!

Tip 2: State what you want and not what you do not want.

What Makes You Happy?

For those of you who are in a stormy period of your life, perhaps this reflective exercise of knowing what makes you happy would be useful.

If you do not know what would make you happy then most likely, you will find yourself caught in an endless web of unhappiness. If you do not know what would make you happy, then it is challenging or near impossible for anyone else in your life to help give a little nudge.

If you are feeling unhappy right now, take some time off for yourself. Have a cup of tea or coffee, relax and then start thinking about what would make you happy. If your mind starts to go “but I can’t achieve that”, “how can I get that” etc, STOP and bring your attention back to what would make you happy.

During the session, if your mind is a blank when it comes to what would make you happy, then that’s an important realisation and insight for you isn’t it? If that happens, then recognise your new insight and start to focus on the future.

For those who are experiencing severe pain and this is an impossible exercise to do…be brave to seek and accept help. Confide in a friend or make an appointment to speak with a counsellor, coach or therapist. Everyone deserves to live a life of joy and dignity.

Creating Your Dream Boards

In 2007,my dear friend M encouraged me to put up my vision (dream) boards – not just the typical one that most people do but three separate boards for me to paste pictures of the things I’d like to be doing, having and being.

The boards forced me to reflect on what I truly wanted in life at that given point in time (you have to think before you put stuff up!), allowed me to dream bigger and gave me that extra dosage of sunshine when I felt down.

Bit by bit, month by month, year by year… what I like to be doing, having and being became a manifested reality. Some quicker, while some took a wee longer. The boards helped me to creatively energetically Visual-Realise my dreams while embarking on the many learning journeys helped to accelerate the transformation of my life.

Instead of 3 boards, you could combine them into one. Besides pictures, you can also include written words or phrases. You can review and change your board(s) along the way.

A Thankful Heart Allows Change

Thankful HeartLast week, during a coaching session for a client, this reflection question popped up for her: What does it mean for you to have a thankful heart?

She is going through probably the fiercest hardest storm to-date. She’s been bruised and battered by the hard winds and shivered for countless nights. But through it all, she’s found refuge and sanctuary and, an inner strength and resilience. Above all, she has been able (with great determination and discipline) to maintain a strong sense of calm. Releasing of hatred and anger is the goal she is working towards.

It is not easy being my client because at the onset of our journey together, I tell them that my role is not to sugar coat nor am I in a popularity contest. My role is to be a catalyst in the transformational journey and that means facing hard truths at times. It also means accepting and taking action on recommendations even if it is something that throws them out of their comfort zone. Or something that is painful for them to do. For those with perseverance and willingness to do what it takes, there is always positive changes.

In my client’s case, she was what the world would perceive as the ‘victim’ in the situation. So the question I posed to her was not an easy one. But she graciously and openly accepted the reflective task for this period of Christmas in preparation for a new fresh start in 2015.

It is also a question that I have taken on for my own self-reflection and preparation for a brand new year. And it is a question that I think would benefit many.

In his book Hardwiring Happiness, neuropsychologist Dr Rick Hanson shared about the importance of regularly taking in the good to create neural pathways we need for well being. Unless we pay mindful, sustained attention to them, most positive experiences flow through our brains like water through a sieve. The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.

If that it the case, then having a thankful heart would also allow us to create positive neural pathways as well as a healthy heart.

What does it mean for you to have a thankful heart?

I am still reflecting on the question and it has been liberating to explore some of the pathways that my heart takes me to. To savour each new insight and thought. Much to think about and lots of experiences to reframe. All which is useful and beneficial for moving ahead.